June 8, 2008 - Journal Entry

Today was the day! We went to Kruger! It was a really good day and I got some great photos. We had to meet our guide David at 6AM so that we could take advantage of all the daylight hours. I learned that Phalaborwa, the name of the closest town means "better than the south" because it was supposedly the best oil producing town, years ago. We saw several Baobob trees, called the "Tree of Life" because every part of it is edible. Elephants love it. The real ones are much nicer than the replica at the Philly Zoo. LOL Even though ours is one of only two in the US and the other is Rafiki's tree at Animal Kingdom at Disney World (or Land?), so that's pretty cool. We saw plenty of elephants, hippos, crocodiles and impala, who are called cockroaches because they are everywhere! But I think they're beautiful! We also saw Nyala, another type of antelope, giraffes and zebra butts (as they walked away from us LOL). And we saw huge ground hornbills and plenty of other cool birds. We stopped at one of the camps for lunch and went into the elephant museum too.

It was a long day in the car (12 hrs), but it was a lot of fun and it reminded me of my last trip here. I wish that I could have seen more of the country this time but oh, well. It does kind of suck also that now I have nothing to look forward to except going home...

June 7, 2008 - Journal Entry

I feel awful. I'm supposed to be going into a nearby game reserve, Kruger National Park on Sunday. It's HUGE. There are camps there for tourists and we stayed in one the last time I was here with JZAP. This would just be a day trip though. Anyway, I found out that my bank account is frozen until Monday because I never called the bank to tell them that I was going to be here and mom just called them on Friday. It takes a few days to process. So I have to borrow money from Sue. It's only 600 rand, which is a little less than $100, but I don't feel comfortable borrowing it from her. On the one hand, the Kruger trip has already been organized and I really want to go. And I will be able to pay her back anytime after Monday. But I hate asking for money from people who I know and love and who trust me - much less from someone who barely knows me. I mean I'm good for it obviously, but it's a significant amount of money and she has no reason to trust me. I'll be glad when this is all over.

So...the electricity went out and we ate dinner by candlelight. Stephen and Paul cooked outside over a fire and all of the showers were cold as opposed to usually when only the last few are. We were supposed to have Paul's famous pancakes and french toast tonight bit since the stove is electric, that was a no go. Oh well, I'm sure tomorrow will be fun at Kruger...

June 6, 2008 - Journal Entry

I'm starting to feel torn. Especially when I sit still. I feel sad and peaceful. Like I belong here, but not completely. I want to go home, but not really. I miss Omar, but I'm in love with these baboons. When I sit still, I want to laugh and cry all at the same time. I'm grateful for this experience, but I hate that it has to end. I have cravings sometimes for things at home. Especially things that remind me of him. I miss my best friend. One of our favorite conversations around here is the "What's the first thing you're going to do when you get home?" or even better, "What's the first meal you're going to eat when you get home?" That's always a good one. I know that I'm probably thinking too much and not savoring this enough but I can't help it. How can I be fully here when my heart is back home?

When I sit still

and the world is quiet

when the sun is shining

and the birds are chirping

when the chores are done

and time slows down

I look out over the world below

and my thoughts wander to you

I wonder where you are

and what you're doing

who you're with

and where you're going

I wonder how you are spending your time

and if I occupy your thoughts like you haunt mine

I imagine what you would say

if you were here with me now

The affection we would share

and the love you would show

I wonder if you are sleeping

and what you might be dreaming

I sit still and ponder the passage of time

and how our lives, though separated, still run in parallel lines

June 5, 2008 - Journal Entry

Michaela is leaving early tomorrow morning. She's been here for over a year and it's obvious how much she adores all of the baboons. All day today and yesterday all she did was walk around taking pictures of them. As far as I can tell, she hasn't taken any pictures of people. LOL Michaela is a tiny little Aussie who rarely wears anything that isn't already ripped (granted that's not completely uncommon here though). She eats enough for three people and has a bubbly laugh and a compassionate nature. She is Jasper's last real friend. Her watch always runs slow, but she resets it daily rather than just get another one. Thus, she is always late. And now she is leaving. It will suck to lose another vegetarian (who really counts for three). There will only be four of us left. But you learn to move on quickly here. People are constantly coming and going. And although you do miss them, you adjust. Life goes on.

June 4, 2008 - Journal Entry

I am starting to dread going home. On the one hand, I can't wait to see my family and friends again. But on the other hand, I'm not ready to deal with the responsibilities that will be waiting for me. I am now a senior in college and Lord willing, about to graduate. I am director of African Rhythms Drum and Dance Troupe at school. I have two jobs and two classes to complete this summer. I do too much. Here, all I have to do is love and look after babies. Simple. I almost feel guilty because I am getting so much from them. Also, my vision of being reunited with Omar might be better than what the reality will be. Much more romantic, I'm sure. Let me just hold on to my dream. It keeps me happy to be able to look forward to it. I forget the troubles that lie just under the surface and are waiting to come out once we have time to deal with them again. And the new ones that have yet to reveal themselves. Tomorrow will be two weeks. The halfway mark. I don't even want to think about how fast two weeks flies by.

June 3, 2008 - Journal Entry

The struggle to preserve life so often feels like a losing battle. Yesterday, one of the babies from an older troop was grabbed from his mother through the fence by a wild male. The male probably would have killed it if Stephen hadn't intervened. When they brought the baby into the sickbay, I was in the next room washing bottles out and I saw it. There was a lot of blood. I hope the baby will be okay. I feel like this whole thing has been a slap in the face for me. A harsh reminder that these are still wild animals and that most of the time, life isn't fair. Every one of these babies who I've come to love so much, ultimately has a sad story. They shouldn't have to be here. I think that in all of the excitement of actually being in Africa, I had forgotten why I actually came here. This isn't about me. It's about helping to give a second chance to these ultimately innocent animals. I need to stop complaining about my own discomfort and remember my calling. There is a reason that God made my heart so sensitive to the well being of His creatures. I have a job to do and this is a part of my training.

I just spent an hour sitting in Rita's living room with the baby who was snatched. His name is Augustus. He's adorable and so sweet. He lip smacked me a lot and seems to be doing much better. They are keeping him in a cage until his wounds heal and then he will go back with his troop. He was calling (wahooing) for them, but otherwise he didn't seem too stressed. He was drinking milk and even ate a few grapes that I gave him, but only the meaty part. He would chew on the grape and then spit out the skin. At the end of the hour, we took the whole cage and put it into the smalls hok so that he would have some company.

So today went well, except for afternoon cleanup which was pretty awful. And I have it again tomorrow. But we had pizza for dinner which was nice. Sue went into town and picked it up for everyone. She also picked up a new volunteer named Gabby. She seems cool and I'm getting along well with everyone else. And with the hok change it's a much friendlier atmosphere all around. Jasper is still being a baby but I don't feel bad anymore. The baboons are getting to know me better, as are the people. And two weeks left to go is starting to sound like a really short amount of time. I went down to the beach with Holly and Liz today which was nice. We saw two giraffes walking on the beach across the river and a crocodile too. My hair is really dirty but I haven't had time to wash it yet. But all in all things are going really well.

June 2, 2008 - Journal Entry

It's 6:00 in the morning. It's still dark. And it's raining. Why am I up? I have a feed room shift at 7:00. But I heard a lion roaring last night. It sounded just like my Merlin back at Philly Zoo. I also heard elephants trumpeting! You gotta love living out here. So the move is happening today for sure! I definitely think things will be better now.

It's 10:00. I just had my first shift with smalls in their new hok and it went pretty well. Jasper was crying and mooing (crying for his troop) for most of it. As much as he deserves every bit of bullying that he gets, I can't help but feel bad for him when I'm in their watching it. He's still not nice but he is scared. I think he'll be okay though, he's a big boy and once he stops crying and puts up a fight, I'm sure he can hold his own. But now I really wish that I had scruffed him yesterday before the move because if I do it now it's just kicking him when he's down. Zurika was in there with me and she comforted him for most of the hour. But I couldn't believe it, when I wasn't watching him and someone else bit him, he ran behind me and bit me hard in my back like three times! Unbelievable! Still, I comforted him when he came to me. I was the bigger primate.

On another note, I can't wait to go into nursery. It's going to be great without Jasper bullying everyone. The three new babies plus Howie and Maddie will eventually form the core of our newest troop who are now in what's being called the playroom. But until they get used to being on their own, certain nursery babies will be allowed to go in from time to time. So we'll see how it goes!

June 1, 2008 - Journal Entry

First day of June! Yay! I have to admit, the days are going by quickly. I feel at the same time like I just got here and also like I've been here forever. It's weird. We are getting two new volunteers tomorrow. That should be interesting.

Last night Tom, Ashlee, Susan, Zurika, Elena and Stephen played spoons after dinner. It was so much fun. But we were shushed by Lee via Paul. We were trying to be quiet but everyone was laughing and Zurika especially has the loudest, bubbliest laugh ever so when we saw a flashlight ("torch") coming up the hill, we got scared because we thought that it was Lee and Zurika said that she would be upset if she had to walk all the way up here from the house where the staff lives. So being in a silly mood, we all run into the pantry to hide! Of course it wasn't hard to find us though so when Paul came in, he was a litle irritated that we were hiding from him. LOL He told us that Lee said "I can hear you above the TV". Now besides the fact that sound carries amazingly well in the bush, it was only 9:00 at night! No wonder everyone goes to bed so early here, because apparently we're too rambunctious to entertain ourselves after dark. LOL Oh well.



Okay I need to complain a little before I go to bed. First of all, I hate that little bastard Jasper! The last time that I was in the hok with him, Zurika and Holly said that the next time he bit me, that I should scruff him and hold him down to make him respect me. Unfortunately, both times that I tried to do that, he bit the shit out of me again! The only good thing was that it happened right at the end of my shift, so no one saw the tears after I slipped out of the hok. And the other babies didn't mob me and back Jasper up, so that was good. In fact they seemed to be on my side and a few of them even came and sat with me after the first scuffle, as if they were trying to comfort me. I really do love those babies. Except for Jasper the demon, whom I sincerely hate!

But I'm actually in a pretty good mood now. I talked to Omar today which was nice and we had fried green tomatoes for dinner which were delicious. And the new hok in the garage is finally done so the move is happening tomorrow. So all in all, I'm good. Despite being bit badly by Jasper and despite having a cleanup shift tomorrow, tonight I am going to have a good night.

May 31, 2008 - Journal Entry

It's hot today. Still comfortable but sleepy, "I don't wanna work" hot. And there's a (baboon) food shortage, so we all have to work. Stephen and Paul's trip was postponed and there are definitely three new babies coming in to start a troop with Howie (Holly's son) and Maddie (Lee's daughter). The smalls (and Jasper!) will move into a much bigger hok in the garage and the nursery babies will move into the hok where the smalls are now. Exciting!

Dinner last night was pretty interesting. Michaela, a tiny vegetarian woman from Australia who can eat for three people, was cooking with Sue, an older British woman who used to be in the army and is pretty controlling. But neither of them realized that they were cooking beforehand. My roommate Lucy was also assisting. Sue was off somewhere so Michaela and Lucy started without her. Once she did come in, sparks flew. Michaela and Sue fought about what to make, how much of it to make, etc. And this is after Michaela and Lucy had already started. Michaela is the only person that I have ever seen actually stand up to Sue, who can be a bit of a bully. It was great! But also kind of awkward for the rest of us who were just sitting there waiting for dinner. So we all decided to go up on the balcony and do some star gazing.

Poor Lucy was caught right in the middle of it all. And she had already had a rough day. Earlier that day she was mobbed by all of the babies in smalls because she had tried to wear a scarf to avoid getting her hair pulled out, but of course they just snatched the scarf off and when she reprimanded them, they mobbed her. there is one little girl in particular named Ling Ling, who none of the girls like because she loves to run by, snatch out a handful of hair and floss with it! Especially if your hair is long. I've never had a problem with her because she can't rip out one my locks so she only occasionally can get any strands from me. But she always gets Lucy really badly. And to add to the problem, Lucy was in the hok with a guy named Tom who Ling Ling loves so she was feeling extra confident when Lucy tried unsuccessfully to reprimand her.

Anyway, Lucy just got overwhelmed and ran out of the hok crying after about ten minutes. So at dinner Lucy, who usually has a few glasses of wine a night, had a few more than usual. LOL She was fine, she just became more chatty than usual. Normally she is very reserved And after dinner she got into a heated debate with Paul about the merits of being a vegetarian. There are several of us so we backed her up a little but for the most part, I try to avoid that conversation, especially with people who are already set in their ways like Paul!